It's always about a boy...

[moontsunami]

I never actually knew we had a section like this, and since I am having some issues, I thought I might as well ask for some help here...

Anyways, I have just started a new university this fall and have been having a great time. I am doing classes, working at the school, and getting involved. One of the things I have gotten involved with is our school's production of And Then There Were None by Agatha Cristie. In the play I am married, and I really like the guy I am "married" to. We have talked quite a bit, have a lot of the same interests. We have also gone out in a group situation, with the entire cast, and have gotten along really well. He seems to like me, and we were touching all flirty-like, and just generally getting along. I got up the nerve to ask him out on Monday, and he said yes. The problem is that we never exchanged numbers, and when I tried to make plans at rehearsal and he said he didn't want to think about it at the moment. I tried to MySpace him, to give him my number, and have him call, but he never got back to me. I don't want to be too pushy or forward to freak him out. I figured that I would just see if he wanted to do something next weekend instead, just because maybe he didn't get my message or was busy or whatever. I am just really bad with males of any sort and haven't had a serious boyfriend since my sophmore year of high school. I just would love a male's opition and maybe a steadying hand in my crazy brain to help me get through this first akward stage.

Thanks

Lots of Love
Bobbi

[Jinxieman]

Hey Bobbi (its nice to know your real name)

Thanks for jumping in and asking my first question. I hope I can give you some insight to your situation. It sounds like things are starting off really well for you at college! Is this your first year?

I will jump into your situation now and tell you what I think might be going on here. It sounds like this guy likes you enough to be flirtatious with you, which is a really good sign. I think you were very brave to ask him out and I think in the long run it can be a really good thing (my wife is the one who asked me out and initiated our relationship ). There are a few things that could be going on here: First he could just be really busy right now and stressing about the play as well as classes and exams and has not had a chance to get back to you. He could also be getting cold feet and backing away emotionally because to guys, sometimes, flirting is all good and well but when it comes to prospect of actually entering into a relationship..even when we like the girl, it can be kind of overwhelming emotionally...which can cause us to withdraw a little. This is probably why guys take so long to ask a girl out, especially when it is girl we are interested in as more than a fling.

My advice would be to follow your instinct. Back off a little, not so much that he thinks you are no longer interested but enough to give him the benefit of the doubt and to allow your friendship to continue to develop. Remember that you enjoy spending time with this guy and, personally, I think it better in the long run to allow your friendship to develop as much as you can before a romantic relationship develops.

As for that date that he already agreed to, I think you should give it a day or two at rehearsal, without mentioning it, to get back into the swing of things and then ask him if he would like to get together this weekend, and when he says "sure" nail down a time and exchange numbers then...and if he says "no" or that he doesn't have the time then I would say to back off a little more and concentrate on building your friendship with him and maybe let him make the next move.

[moontsunami]

Thanks Adam (Yay real names are fun!)

It is actually my second year of college. I went to school out in Oregon last year, but I didn't enjoy myself at all so I transfered back home.

It is always good to hear about other girls asking guys out, give your wife a high five! After I asked him, and he was out of sight of me, I started shaking! I am just so bad with the opposite sex, and when something actually goes right I freak out.

Thank you so much for your advice. I will more than likely see him on Monday, so I will keep what you said in mind. We were supposed to have rehearsal on Thrusday and our director canceled it, so I hope that is the only reason that we weren't able to figure stuff out, plus it looks like he hasn't been on his myspace for at least a week... I am just to worried I think... I hope your advice turns out well, hearing it from other guys who know what the heck is going on really helps out!

Lots of Love
Bobbi

[Jinxieman]

Consider my wife High Fived

The not signed into myspace for a week is a good thing because you can know that he did not get that message.

And where in Oregon did you go to school? I live very close to Portland.

[moontsunami]

Oct 11, 2008 23:06:50 GMT -5 Jinxieman said:

Consider my wife High Fived

Alright!

I went to school in Ashland, Southern Oregon University. I loved the area and the state, but the school was really double-dealing on things and promised things that they never delievered on.

I never got up to Portland, but I did go out there a long time ago when my grandmother lived there. I think the whole state is beautiful and I would love to go back out there and visit. It would probably be better than Montana now, we have gotten about two feet of snow in the last few days, and it is not supposed to let up for another couple days... I would kill for some rain right now.

[moontsunami]

I knid of wanted to give you an update! I took your advice and didn't really say anything about last weekend, just chatted him up a few times this week. Then last night before I was done with rehearsal I went up to him when he was alone and asked him what he was doing *this* weekend, then asked if he wanted to see Max Paine that comes out this weekend. He gave me his number and told me to text him whenever! Oh my god I am so excited!!

Thank you so much once again Adam!

[Jinxieman]

That's great Bobbi, I hope this is the start of a great friendship for you...maybe even more.

Although...I have not been hearing great things about Max Paine...but I try to reserve judgment until I actually see a movie. There have been several movies that I have really enjoyed when I had originally heard bad things about them.

Let me know how things go!