I Have A Problem

[Insanity]

I don't really know how to say this, but I'm going to try my best to get it out.

I have been feeling this way for a while now and it just seems to be eating away at me. I have always felt this sort of pressure to make everyone happy. I can't stand it if people are upset, or mad at me, then I start to freak. A few times, if people stop talking to me or I can see their upsetness I apoogize madly and do anything to try and redeem myself... yet still feel bad. I use up all of my time trying to make people happy and its stressing me out both physically and emotionally. I hate feeling this way whenever anyone is upset. Sometimes, I feel bad even if I have no relation to the problem. I just can't stand letting anyone down, and my conscience totally sucks...

This has been happening for quite some time and I just don't know what to do. I need some help, advice- anything.


-Andrew

[Justhad]

Dear Andrew,
I'm glad I finally got to answer one of these questions, especially, because I've been in your shoes. I was the same person, who constantly tried to make others happy and made sure that they weren't hurt, but it does start to wear on you. My best advice, is to try and get some distance. Care, but care when they come to you. You can always seek out answers from friends if they're holding back, but you can't spend all your time worrying about them when you need to be worrying about yourself. It look me a long time to distance myself. I'm over-emotional when it comes to different things, and friends, etc... and you just need to try and breathe! Trying not to become emotionally attached to each problem is a good start. You can always still be there for your friends, but try not to get into things that don't even effect you in any way (like you mentioned above). There's a difference between being a good friend and constantly making yourself feel worse to try and change/help others. So my best advice is to slowly try and distance yourself, if that means taking a few more days/hours for yourself, then so be it. Try and also explain to them, (if they dump all their problems on you) that you're there for them, but you have your own issues too.

Please let me know if there's any other way I can help,

Hadley

[Insanity]

I'm extremely sorry for the late reply, I haven't had much time lately.

Thank You So Much hadley Its funny how I didn't even completely explain how I am feeling clearly, yet you still understood everything that is going on. I'm just going to have to stop worring about others and make sure I have time to myself. I need to stop panicking and take a breathe like you suggested.

Thanks again for your wonderful advice! I'm uber-glad you could help!

[Justhad]

I'm glad you're feeling a lot better Andrew - It's definetly a hard place to move on from, but I know you'll come out on top and a happier person! Please let me know if I can help you with anything via this thread/area or via pm.